R.I.P Tiffany

So your funeral service was held at yesterday.I pray for your soul to rest in peace and may you stay with the God happily in a happy place called heaven.

I didn`t know u though.But don`t know why I feel so sad on what happened on you,perhaps you were a band member,just like me?Yes.We might have met in the State level Band competition long time ago.

You were just too young to leave the world.I kept on asking why?How could the killer (who was also your friend) took your life away,just because you rejected his request?Your bright future was still waiting you to explore,but you just gone.

I just hope your family and your friends can be stronger.You`ll always on their mind.Always.No matter how long  the time had passed.May you be a happy angel up there,where there`s no sorrow,pain,heartbroken and whatever bad things.Amen.

The Prayers by Andrea Boceli and Celine Dion

Prom Night

认识我的人都知道，其实我非常抗拒prom night 这样的场合。这种场合给我太多不好的回忆。
这一次，我选择去prom。因为是我班上主办的而我以为我会很享受那美好的夜晚。再说，这不是在美中。我以为，那些痛苦的回忆已经离我很远。我以为，我已经长大了，我想通了，开朗了。

没想到，我却给自己制造败笔。上到Salon，把头发完全交给发型师弄，结果弄到自己看起来好老。然后，我用透明肩带。我明明就很抗拒用肩带但因为一些原因我竟然把容许自己把那样的东西穿在身上。我平时在看别人这样穿的时候都会去评论一番的啊，可是我昨晚却犯下一样的错。结果，我还是像中学的时候一样，因为自己的一时糊涂，在这样人人争艳的夜晚，我又像以前一样，沦落为没有光芒的衬托品。

晚宴上
想到这里，中学时prom的经历，又一幕幕地涌现脑海。
然后，我又开始不开心。

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不是说了，长大了，不要再emo了吗？
不是说服了自己，这样的场合，本来就是这样的吗？怎么还会想不开？
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一幕幕的回忆涌上心头，我开始不知所措。
当同学们在拍照时，我静静的站在一旁。
我想，大概没有人看见我心里的那种焦虑和害怕吧？
又或许，我开始自卑而我却完全没有发觉到，只能站在一旁不知所措。

我开始不敢跟别人拍照，尤其是男子。虽然我知道他们不会，但是我好怕好怕再看到那种眼神。就像多年前的prom，那轻轻扫过一眼，就不再管我的眼神。我真的好怕看到那样的眼神。我知道，我不会有足够的勇气来承受这种被忽视的感觉。所以，我只敢在别人叫我一起拍照的时候才一起去拍。过后，我都不主动去合照了。

怎么会这样？花费了这么多，到头来却还要承受这样子的害怕和没有安全感？

说到底，昨晚的prom，还是没有让我把那些不好的回忆带走。除了吃很多，玩很多之外,prom night,对我来说，还是那样。

衣香鬓影，人们大洒金钱，只为争艳。
为自己大费周章扮美美是理所当然，但你必须打扮得特别漂亮才会被关注。
如果你连起码的得体都做到，那么你连衬托得分，都没有。
宴会上，一张张笑容可掬的脸，不时飘过那种“不过如此”的眼神。

虚伪的夜。

你可以说我看不开，固执，钻牛角尖。。。但你绝对不能了解我的过去所对我造成的伤害，而我一直尽我最大的努力走出阴影，无奈，那些痛的回忆，在不对的时候，还是会走出来狠狠的在捅我几刀，让我痛得缩回自己的角落。


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不过，我昨晚还是玩得很开心啦。尽情地为朋友们呐喊助威，在舞台上跳舞。虽然我真的很不能摇，但我其实很享受。

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IQ test

Just now when I was surfing the net I feel like want to take an IQ test.I`m interested to know my IQ score and I want to know whether I`m intelligence or..just normal.

So I went to this site to take my test.After I finished with those "torturing" questions,I went to check my inbox to get my results.Well..I got 114,which is 1 mark to "Above Average" level.Guess this is because of the language problem.The instruction wrote that "If English (American) is not your native language, then your reported IQ score will probably be lower than it would be if you took an IQ test in your own language."




114,indicates that I`m just a normal person.Although I feel a lil` bit sad but then,I heard some voice which comes from my heart.The voice told me that i should appreciate what I`m having now.At least I can have normal life,have the ability to think,to differentiate what is right and what is wrong,what can do and what shouldn`t do...That is a BLESSING and GIFT from the above.I`m actually one of the luckiest one since I`m not suffer from some genetics deficiency disease.


I should PRAISE THE LORD for my 114 =)
Good Night =D